Simon Weber Counselling and Psychotherapy

ISSUES THAT ARISE IN RELATIONSHIPS

Depression

Depression is very common -- much more common than most of us believe -- and relationship issues often become the context or the trigger for a bout of depression.

The longer that I work with people with depression the more solid grows my conviction that loss of some kind lies at its foot -- not as a lineal cause, but as a setting-off point. Loss of safety, loss of love, loss of innocence-before-time. Many other contextual factors in a person predict and assist it but broadly speaking, depression is a response to loss. The work of psychotherapy becomes learning to meet losses differently.

Thus the enduring treatment for a relationship in which depression is present is to treat the depression.

To receive a longer article by me about depression and how I work with it, click here to request a copy and I will email one to you; or phone me on 01752 603221 and leave an address and I will post one to you.

To discuss beginning to work on your depression email me or phone me on 01752 603221. I will be pleased to have an initial discussion with you without cost or obligation before setting up appointments.

Childhood Trauma

The impact of a trauma in childhood depends upon how it is met by those close by, most commonly parents or siblings. If a child's traumatic experience is missed, or mocked, or ignored, or drowned out by someone else's bigger trauma, or in some way unattended to, then it remains with that person through time as unexplained and unsettled and somehow still active.

Traumas are traumatic because, at the time they happen, the traumatic event feels unsurvivable either physically or emotionally. This is both literally by outer physical death; or by the inner emotional extinction of betrayal, rejection, unloved-ness, humiliation, loneliness, shame, even embarrassment. The quality of emotional extinction is that it feels more than can be lived through -- unendurable because annihilating of longed for and essential safe connection

Childhood traumatic events have to be explained to lose their power, reassured to become settled, and grieved at a feeling level to become less active. This has to occur in a safe, survival-enhancing environment both physically and emotionally. After this they have to be, and can be, endured. Without this, they accumulate, as it were, and influence a person's ability to process either another traumatic event; or even a usually manageable present-time event such as having children, or a seemingly ordinary difference turning into an argument.

It is difficult to begin to work through the feelings that childhood trauma arouses. It can feel very frightening and overwhelming. To begin you can send me an email describing what is happening to you and I will reply as soon as I reasonably can with my initial thoughts and responses. ALL ENQUIRIES ARE CONFIDENTIAL. Click here to read more about confidentiality.
Alternatively you can phone me and I will be pleased to have an initial discussion with you in person. The objective of these methods of initial approach, both of which are without cost or obligation, is to gently prepare the ground for later face-to-face sessions.


Return to home page